Wish You Were
by lovelystarr
Summary: After Bella goes to save Edward in New Moon, Jacob leaves in grief. He thought he had Bella, but he lost his grip. Two years later, he comes back to find things changed, for the better and for the worst. BxJ. You know what this means :D
1. Chapter 1: Returning

**If you haven't already, please go read my other story, "What Could Have Been." It's a Bella/Jacob story. Enjoy this one!**

Chapter 1 - Returning

JPOV

I hadn't talked to Bella in two years. My heart ached for her for the longest time, but I had to find ways to occupy my mind. I phased, occasionally, but blocked out the voices of the pack – my brothers I had to leave without an explanation. I had graduated from high school this spring, and now that summer was coming around and I was a free man, I yearned to go back to La Push. I missed my father, the pack, and Bella. There were two possibilities. Option one, she could have saved Cullen's butt and gotten back together with him, or option two, she could have saved Cullen's butt and he left her again. But this time, I wasn't there to pick up the pieces. Deep inside, I felt like a jerk. I had told her I loved her, and left when one phone call interrupted what should have been the beginning of us.

I had been staying in Tennessee. The Great Smokey Mountains were a great place to run and be a wolf. I mostly kept to myself, except for the person I had been living with. He was a Quileute, but he didn't live on a reservation. It was hard to say goodbye to him; he was always kind and loving to me, like the father I hadn't see in forever. I wrote letters to my father occasionally, telling him I was alright and not to worry.

But the old man from the Smokies took me under his wing, making sure this promise was kept. His name was James, and he had stopped phasing when his wife died from brain cancer. He often talked about her, but strangely, she reminded me of Bella. Actually, most everything reminded me of Bella. But now that I was an adult, I was ready to go back to her. She might hate me, she might have moved on, but she's going to get to see me again.

When I got off the plane in Washington, it was around eight o'clock and my heart was pounding like a hammer. I didn't even think everyone would recognize me. I still had the russet skin, the black hair, and the rough Indian features, but I was bigger and older. I was taller, more muscular, less of a teenager. I was only nineteen, but I looked thirty-five. My face had grown to look manly, and my voice was the slightest bit deeper. I was a changed boy.

The drive to La Push was easy. I went through Forks, past Bella's house. Her truck wasn't there, but the cruiser was. I considered stopping to greet Charlie, but I was afraid he would scorn me for taking off. It was for the better good that I left. It gave both Bella and I a chance to figure out what we wanted and everything that happened. It was good.

The La Push sign was a little more worn; the places there were a little older. I was driving a rental car, in which I rented from Port Angeles. When I realized I was only a mile away from the houses I knew so well, I pulled over. Where should I go? I was afraid to go home. I was afraid to go to Charlie's. I would go to Sam's. The drive was only a bit longer than it would have been to my house, and it was sure to be the calmest place to go. I sighed loudly when I pulled up the drive. The house was the exact same as it had been years ago. Lights were visible through the curtains, and when I got out of the car, I heard voices inside. I couldn't recognize anyone in particular, but I guessed everyone was gathered here. Oh, crap. This was going to be a sight. I pulled open the screen door and held it open with my shoulder. Then I rapped on the wood in front of me with my knuckles, hoping it would open with a smile. I forced one upon my own face.

With a swift pull, the door swung open to reveal Emily, large with child.

"Oh, sh-" She started, stopping herself before she cursed. Everyone was in the kitchen, unaware of my presence. "Sam, come here, now!" She called, and a husky voice answered her.

"Em, is something wrong?" He ran up to her, placing one hand on her stomach, but took it away when he followed her stare. "Jacob, is that you?" He whispered, careful not to be too loud.

I finally decided to speak. "Yeah, it is." To my surprise, he smiled, and came out the door to hug me briefly.

"We missed you, everyone." His grip ceased quickly, though. He hopped back inside and opened the door wider, making it large enough for me to come through. Emily took off ahead of us, wobbling, instead of running. "You will explain later, but first, you need to know something."

"Yes?" I braced myself for the worst, the best, and the in-between.

"Bella will be arriving soon. She isn't here yet, you better thank god." His eyes widened in effect, making me wonder.

"Is she that upset with me?" He didn't answer; his eyes told me she was more than upset when I just took off.

"We'll get to that later, too." He gently pushed me forward, towards the all too familiar kitchen. I could smell baking goods, sweet with Emily's ways of culinary arts.

When I walked in the room, all mouths dropped. All talking stopped. All chewing discontinued. I could barely tell who was who. Everyone had changed in such a short time, only two years. There were two more guys added to the group, along with a new girl. I broke the silence.

"Hey, everyone." I smiled warmly, hoping it would bring forth talking in all the shock.

"Jacob? Is that you?" The new girl strolled up to me and put me in her embrace. But I had no idea who she was. She pulled away, and laughed at the confusion on my face.

"Don't tell me you don't recognize your own sister?" It was Rachel. I hadn't seen her since she left for college years before I left. The raven hair was short, and she was wore more makeup than she used to. She was very thin, yet muscular.

"No way…what are you doing here?" I hugged her again, trying to take the image of my sister in.

"Well, I came down about a year ago, and I was drawn to stay, you could say." She looked back at Paul, who had this look in his eyes, like he was…

Oh my god.

"You and Paul," I held my hands up. "Imprinted?! Oh man, I've missed a lot." She nodded and went back to sit next to Paul. I searched the faces in the room, but didn't see welcoming arms in everyone. Some were standing, some were sitting at the table or on it, and some were sitting on the counters. There were basically two groups. What looked like Leah, Kim, Embry, Seth, and the two new guys were looking at me with anger, while Sam, Emily, Paul, Rachel, and Jared looked pleased to see me. Something was up.

"Why are some of you acting like I have the plague? And where's Quil?" The anti-Jacob group exchanged glances, then got up and started out the door, pushing past me.

"Dude, you're in for the shock of a life time." Embry murmured to me on his way out, but the tone of his voice told me he wasn't trying to help. Once the door was slammed with their departure, I began to worry.

"Cookie, anyone?" Emily, ever the sweetheart, held out a fresh tray of cookies to the small crowd, smiling briefly.

"What the heck just happened?" I spoke to everyone.

"Well, we were planning on having a bonfire tonight, so I guess you're invited now." Rachel smiled at me too.

I ignored her. "I understand why they would hate me, but they aren't happy I'm back at all?" I put my back against the wall for support.

"Jacob, a lot can happen in two years." Sam stated while taking a cookie from the full tray.

"I can see that. Everyone looks different. I can barely tell anyone apart."

"Yes, that's true." He took a bite, then another before he finished chewing.

"Would anyone like to fill me in?" I took a place at the table, putting my head between my hands.

"I'll do the honors." Rachel took a cookie too, but Paul took it and shoved it in his mouth. She smacked him on the head playfully. "First of all, you're probably worried about Dad. He's fine, just a little lonely sometimes. Sue Clearwater stays with him during most days, just to keep him company. He lost his best friend, you know."

"Wait- hold up. What do you mean he lost his best friend?"

"Charlie. He died in a car accident about a year ago. That's why I was down here- for the funeral." She grabbed another cookie, making sure it was out of Paul's reach.

"How did…Bella…oh my god." I gaped. This was horrible. I felt even more like a jerk.

"She didn't take it so well. She was severely depressed. We thought about sending her to live with her mother, but she insisted on staying. She's going to college in Port Angeles now. She wants to be a teacher." Rachel polished off the cookie, looking around at her audience.

"Go on…" I was eager to hear everything.

"She lives here in La Push now. She got her own place built and everything. It's near the Clearwater's house, since that's like her second home. Leah, Kim, Emily, Bella, and I are like, best friends. Especially Bella and Leah. They act like sisters most of the time."

"Last time I checked, they hated each other."

"Things change when you've been through similar things. Both their dads died, and they lost love at one point." She glanced at Sam and Emily, who seemed unaffected by her words. She continued on. "Leah was actually the only person who helped her get out of both stages of her depression."

"So she's part of the pack now?"

"Basically. She hangs out with us every day, and enjoys herself now. For a while, we thought she was going to give up. She came back from saving her ex boyfriend, told him to get lost, and came to La Push to find you gone with no explanation. Charlie was worried sick for her. She went wild for a little while, but Leah made her sane again. And now we're here." I stared at her in shock. Bella had chosen me after all? Damn.

"I am so dumb." I covered my mouth with my hand, holding in the words I didn't want to say.

"Yeah, you kind of are. She was crazy about you and you left her." She went on talking, but I stopped listening when I heard a car pull into the driveway.

"Who's here?" I jumped up from my chair, going to the back door.

"Bella, most likely." I swung the door open and ran around the house. I had to talk to her. But I stopped in my tracks. Bella had her back against the side of a small red car at the end of the line that was parked in Emily's drive.

She was just like I remembered, only older, and more beautiful. Her chestnut hair hit right past her shoulders, and it was curled in gorgeous ringlets. Her skin wasn't as pale; it had a golden tinge to it. There was someone in front of her. She leaned her face closer to his, and he put his hands on her tiny waist. He closed the distance, meeting his lips to hers. I gasped under my breath, which was hitching by the second. She moved her arms around his neck. This was the kiss I had always wanted to share with Bella, and now she was doing it with some guy from the reservation.

When she pulled away, they smiled at each other, and I took notice of the man's face. I knew that mischievous grin.

"Bella!" I called out, not thinking. My voice cracked at the end, and I cleared my throat.

"Is that…" She said under her breath. I smiled. Her voice was like an angel, singing in heaven.

"Yeah it is. That's Jacob Black." That voice. My Bella was kissing Quil.

"Why is he here?" She looked up at him and gnawed her lip, something she hasn't stopped doing since I left.

"You know I can hear you guys, right? I'm not deaf." She took Quil's hand and squeezed. Tears jerked behind my eyes, threatening to spill.

I squinted when the sun suddenly came out from behind the clouds. The rays shined down on us, and I had to hold my hand above my eyes to be able to see Bella and Quil. I was about to close my eyes from the bright light, but stopped when the luminosity caught something. The light glinted off of a piece of jewelry on Bella's hand, throwing beams in my eyes. I closed them, but opened them again in a double take. It was a ring. And it was on her left hand. On her ring finger.

I had learned to not curse as often in my time away, but this was different.

"Oh, shit…" I covered my mouth, the jerking sensation replaced with pure fury.

Bella and Quil were engaged.


	2. Chapter 2: He's Back

**Hello, again! This is basically chapter 1 in Bella's POV, with some added at the end. Enjoy!  
(I don't actually like this chapter...let me know what you think.)**

Chapter 2- He's Back.

BPOV

"Bella," Quil opened the door to my room, revealing the mess spread out on my bed. "Are you ready to go to Sam and Em's for the bonfire?" He came to stand by the mess, where I was in the middle, surrounded by books and papers.

"That's tonight? Oh, crap! I have to study! I have one more week left of classes, of finals!" I fell down on top of the books for effect. I wasn't in the mood. My hair was a mess and it was wavy, after I had gotten in the habit of drying it straight. That was the style. I was never much for style, but since I was going to be a teacher one of these days, I wanted to be one of the rare, cool ones. Quil supported me all the way, even when I studied obsessively. He was great.

He pushed a math book over to make room and sat down beside me, kissing my head. I smiled and leaned against him, glancing at the ring that occupied me left hand. It was a beautiful setting, with a diamond in the middle and three smaller ones going down each side. It was actually quite simple, but there was something unique about the way it looked that made me smile every time.

"We have to go tonight. I promised Sam you would come to his bonfire. You haven't been to the last three, and no one has seen your ring yet! Everyone knows, but you've been so busy you haven't been to see anyone!" He reached for me hand and took it, admiring my ring. "You stay cooped up in your little house that we all helped build. And I want to show you off." I laughed out loud, making him playfully drop my hand.

"Yeah, well I'm a mess." I stood off the bed and he copied. Running my fingers through my knotted and untamed hair, I started to the closet to get something besides the sweatpants and oversized t-shirt I was residing in nowadays. Quil beat me there and grabbed some shorts and a light blue tank top.

"You'll look fine. You always do." He walked over and looped his arms around me and through my arms, since my hands were on my hips. I moved them to his shoulders and rubbed lightly.

"Why, thank you!" I incline my face towards his, standing on the very tips of my toes. He closed the inches between us and kissed me softly. I sighed against him and moved even closer, making sure there was no space amidst our bodies. A slight laugh came from his chest and I pushed him away.

"Hey, don't be pushin' away your fiancé!" He reached for my face but I ducked under his arms and grabbed my clothes. He was about to say something, but I raced out the door and went to the bathroom to change, making sure I pressed the button on the knob. I heard him outside the door and banged on it.

"If you unlock this door, Quil, I swear, I will kill you!"

"C'mon, Bella, we're going to get married soon! And you can't even change in front of me?" He sounded mad, but I had already explained my morals to him. But he was wild and crazy. Sometimes I didn't think he knew how to respect them, the ape.

"You know my morals!" I yelled at him, changing the tone in my voice.

"Fine, buzz killer. I love you." His footsteps trailed down the hall as he called to me.

"Love you too." The words rolled off my tongue, they were natural. I felt a deep, passionate caring for Quil. But I also felt hurt, deep inside me. I was afraid, so very afraid.

As I slipped on my clothes, I thought of my past. First, Edward. I thought of often, of how he left me, and then expected me to take him back with open arms when I saved him from the rulers of the vampire world. Then I thought of Jacob. My Jacob. I sighed heavily, remembering.

He left me too.

I missed him for days, weeks, months. I still missed him. But I was angry with him. Even though I thought of him daily, of how we fit together, yet exact opposites. If I could save every tear I had cried for that boy, I would have an ocean in my bedroom. But I couldn't save tears, Jacob, or our love.

Running a brush through my hair, I tried to think of some product that would make it look decent. I decided to curl it quickly, creating corkscrew curls that bounced when I walked. I chopped off most of my hair when I started dating Quil about a year and a half ago. No I kept it right past my shoulders; not too long, not too short.

I knew Quil was waiting on me, so I grabbed a light hoodie and hopped down the stairs, greeted with a kiss on the cheek from my fiancé.

"Let's go, they're most likely waiting on us." He dragged me out the door to red car. I hopped in the passenger seat and turned on the radio. I looked down at my unpainted toenails, waiting on Quil to say something. But he didn't.

"Are you ok?" I kept looking down, fear creeping over me like a breeze.

"Yeah, I guess so. I just feel like you get so nervous around me. I'm not going to hurt you, Bells." He put his hand on my knee and I flinched; not at his touch, but at the name he called me. He looked shocked.

"Why are you scared of me?" He took his hand away and gripped the wheel with both hands as he drove.

"It's not that," I played with the end of my hair. "It's what you called me. I asked you to not call me that. Please."

"Oh, so this is about Jacob?"

"Quil, please, Jacob left. But I loved him, too. You're not the only guy I've ever loved. Sorry if you thought you were." I turned in my seat.

"But you're not marrying Jacob." He spit the name out like it was a sin, dragging out each syllable.

"No, but I gave up everything for him. And he just left me." I felt the emotion coming, but I forced it back into the dark closet of my mind, shoving it away.

"Well I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"That's what you say every time. And you keep doing it." I leaned closer to him, looking into his eyes, even though they were on the road. We would have been there by now, but he was driving slowly so we could have time to talk. It was usually only a five minute drive from my house to the Uley's. The Clearwater's were my neighbors, and they were already there.

"I'm sorry, really, Bella. I am very sorry." I smiled and a smirk caught the edges of his lips. He leaned them towards me and gave me a quick kiss, carefully.

I looked down at the ring again, and studied it as the light made it shoot beams in my eyes. They were blinding in the impossibly bright Washington sun. This summer was going to be a hot one. It was only the beginning of June and the temperatures were way higher than normal. I liked the hot, and I liked the tan I had gotten in Florida over Christmas break. Quil had wanted to come, but I suggested he didn't. I wanted time with my mom, when I wasn't crazy.

Before I could think another thought, we were pulling into Sam's driveway. There was a line of cars in the long line of gravel, but we parked at the end. I got out and walked over to Quil's side of the car. I confirmed how he was looking, searching for a flaw. But there were none.

Quil had certainly grown in the last two years. He was multiple inches taller than me, and his voice was huskier, manlier. His eyes were dark and mysterious, luring me in every time. I touched his defined biceps, feeling the muscle there. His skin was tanner than mine, of course, but I wasn't an albino anymore. Quil looked at me and smiled, showing a row of teeth, and put my back against the car. He reached and touched my curls, making them spring a little. He put his strong arms on my waist and I tilted my head to kiss him. My arms snaked around his neck and he moaned softly, making me laugh to myself. I pulled away, teasing him, and smiled. He smiled back, and I felt eyes on me.

When I turned, I gasped. There was someone watching us.

"Bella!" The person called out. The voice. I knew the voice. It was deeper, but I knew it, even though it cracked.

"Is that…"I tried to speak quietly, but if that was who I thought it was, they could hear me anyway.

"Yeah it is. That's Jacob Black." My breathing hitched and my hand twitched, wanting something to hold on to.

"Why is he here?" I looked up at Quil, biting my lip.

"You know I can hear you guys, right? I'm not deaf." Finally, I grabbed Quil's hand at the sound of his voice again. It was like a tidal wave of memories. The sun came out again, and Jacob shielded his eyes. But he stopped quickly and I noticed the beams of light coming again. It was reflecting off of my ring. Oh, crap.

I saw the look on his face change from surprise, to sadness, to anger.

"Oh, shit…" I heard him curse. He knew. He knew I was engaged to his best friend- the best friend that had been an immature child, but had grown to comfort me when Jacob wasn't there.

"Jacob," I began, trying to make things easier. "I know this is very confusing, but please calm down." I saw the shaking start from his feet and work its way up. This was going to be bad.

"Bella, go inside." Quil let go of my hand, calmly, and lightly pushed me towards the house.

"But-" He jerked his head towards me, anger in his eyes too. I had to go past Jacob to get to the door. I looked at Quil, then Jake, then took off sprinting. I didn't care that I was in flip flops, or that my hair was going to be messy. I wanted away from this.

I burst through the door frantic, searching for a comforting face. I saw Rachel and ran to her, sobs erupting through me.

"Paul, go outside with the guys. We need the girls, now." Paul obeyed and went to fetch my other best friends. My tears were soaking her shirt.

"He's…back!" I managed to say through gasps. I sat down on the couch and tried to compose myself. I had to calm down. Then I remembered.

"Oh, damn! Rach, Quil and Jacob – out front!" She made sense of my frenzied words and went to the front window.

"Bella, there's no one out front."

"They were out there; they were about to fight or something!" I stood up as Leah and Kim pushed the door open.

"Bella! Jacob is-"

"I know!" I yelled at Leah. Then I heard a whimper. Emily was lying in the kitchen floor, and her clothes were wet. No one else noticed, due to the screaming and reasoning. I couldn't make sense of it all.

"YOU GUYS!" I screamed as loud as I could. Everyone turned to look at me. "EMILY IS HAVING THE BABY! WE NEED A HOSPITAL!" The screaming started again. Leah ran outside to get Sam, while Kim and Rachel went to get Emily's bag. I sat by Emily, comforting her. She was crying, most likely for the pain, but not making hardly a sound.

"Em…?" I said quietly. She nodded and grasped my hand and her stomach at the same time. The guys all jumped through the now open door, along with Leah. She came over and sat on the other side of Em, doing the same thing I was.

I looked up at the guys, who were staring.

"Uh, hello?" I threw my free hand up. "She's having a freaking baby! Someone help Rachel and Kim, someone get a car, and someone get Emily in it!" I yelled at them all. Jacob was looking at me in disbelief, and I glared at him.

Somehow, in the next minute and a half, there was a car out front, a bag in Sam's hand, and he, Emily, Kim, and Jared were leaving for the La Push hospital. Of course, we all couldn't go, so most of us opted to stay here. I didn't like blood, so there was no need for me to go watch it all.

"Bella?" I heard two people say at the same time, and turned to see Quil and Jacob both looking at me. Quil grabbed my hand and Jacob took a step back. I let go of Quil's hand and looked at him, silently saying I needed to do this.

"Jacob," I took a step towards him, trying not to let my voice crack. "You have some explaining to do."

**Read, Review, LOVE!**


	3. Chapter 3: Possible

**Here's a short chap, don't hate me! Sorry for the delay, I have another story to update, and school is God Awful! Read and Review, and check out my other story:) Thanks!**

Chapter 3- Possible

BPOV

"How did this happen?" Jacob sat on the couch, his fingers twisted together tightly as he thought. His breathing was sharp, and his voice was deeper than the last time I had spoken to him. The last words he spoke to me before he left me were cruel and hurtful. I never had any intention of getting back with Edward.

"How did what happen? How did I move on with my life?" I sat in the chair across from the couch. I knew Quil was listening in on me, and I longed for his warmth to wrap around me. Even though they were the same, he had always felt different than Jacob. Jacob felt comfortable and humble, but Quil felt passionate and sturdy, like a wall. Jake was a teddy bear.

"How did you end up with Quil? You used to hate how he teased you and made you blush over everything." Right on cue, my face flushed a bright red, as I remembered how we had first connected.

FLASHBACK, TWO YEARS EARLIER

_I sat on the Black's front porch, looking out at the beach in the distance. I could practically sense the warm breath of my Jacob on my neck as he spoke to me. I could smell his woodsy and salty scent. I could feel the tightness of his fingers and mine laced together. _

_But none of this was here._

"_Bella, why are you here?" Quil walked up the steps to my hunched over figure, hiding his eyes from the rare sun. The sun, I sighed. _

"_Waiting on Jake." _

"_He's not here, Bella." He sat beside me, careful not to get too close. _

"_He'll come back." I felt the tearing, tugging sensation in my throat, willing the tears to roll. _

"_He isn't coming back." Quil moved his hand a bit closer to mine and I flinched at his utter warmth. _

"_Yes he is. He has too." I instinctively moved towards the warmness, not realizing that it wasn't Jacob. _

"_I'm sorry. We've listened in on his thoughts. He thinks you don't love him as much as the vampire." He put his index finger on top of mine. _

"_He promised." _

"_What did he promise?" _

"_That he wouldn't hurt me. But he lied." I started to cry, tear after tear rolling down my swollen and red cheeks. _

"_Bella, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel." He reached up and wiped them away with his thumb, his hand lingering on my face. _

"_He promised…" I trailed off, before shoving my face into Quil's shirt, soaking it. He shushed me and held me there, rubbing my back as a wailed and sobbed for my best friend, the guy I loved. I don't know how long we sat like this, but Billy eventually had to ask us to leave. He was taking this almost as bad as I was. He just acted…blank. There was nothing in his once shining eyes. He missed his son. _

"_Bella," Quil asked as we got up from our perch on the porch. "Would you like a ride home? I noticed your truck is kind of out of gas, and I have a full-,"_

"_Sure, Quil. That sounds great." Out of habit, I grabbed his hand, and he gasped at the same time I did. I started to pull away out of embarrassment, but he held on and smiled. _

_We made small talk in his small car, and when we got to my house, he kissed my forehead sweetly. I flung myself into my bed that night, feeling a bit better. _

_But the dreams still overtook my slumber. I couldn't find it in myself to let go of Jacob completely, but it was a work in process. I had done it once before. _

"You could let go of me just like that?" Jacob looked into my eyes, and I looked away from his stare.

"No, not completely." He cocked his head in confusion.

I continued. "But I was trying. I kept trying. I had healed before. So there was a slight, slim possibility that I could heal again."

**Ahh, Flashbacks... ;)**


	4. Chapter 4: Oops

**A little longer chapter for those that were disapointed at my very short previous one :)  
Hope you like this chapter, I think the grammer might be off a bit. Spell/Grammer check wouldn't work on my computer.  
Suggestions or ideas for this story? Review 'em! **

Chapter 4: Oops

JPOV

I was speechless. But at the same time, I understood. She moved on, because she thought that I wouldn't come back. But I did. There was a chance that she may never see me again, and she took that. I don't know what I would have done, but I sure as hell made a horrible decision.

"Bella," I began, patting the seat next to me on the small couch so she would occupy. She hesitantly sat, biting her bottom lip. "I know I shouldn't have left. I know I should have waited for you to come back. But I thought you were going to pick him, Edward." I could say the name without flaw, bringing back haunting memories of when she left _me._

"But, Jacob, I didn't. I told him I never wanted to see him again." She twisted her fingers in knots, making the colors change with the pressure.

"I know, and I'm sorry-," Quil cleared his throat, interrupting me, and I turned in my spot to face him with the best smile I could force.

"I got a call from the shop, and then I have to patrol, so I won't be back until late." He walked over and planted a kiss on her head, making me wince silently and unnoticeably.

"Ok." She mumbled feebly, barely making her voice audible.

Once he was out the door I began to speak again.

"Do you want to take a walk?" I braced myself for rejection, thinking she would not want to go anywhere with me.

"Sure, let's go to the beach," She replied, then laughed at my shock. "I don't hate you, Jake. Of course, I am upset and very, very confused still, but we can get to that later. We need to catch up." She smiled, showing her perfect teeth, and I couldn't help but smile back. Her cheeks flushed, and I sighed in infatuation. I was so still in love with this girl. I wasn't sure if she was aware.

I nodded and she made her way out the door, trailing all of her off limits glory in my wake. Watching her move with such confidence was heartbreaking. I had given all that up. But there was still a chance. She wasn't married yet. I had a few months. Maybe, possible, I could win the girl of my dreams back.

BPOV

"I remember the first time we walked on this beach, Jake." I told him as we strolled next to the lightly lapping waves, our feet gracing the tips of the water.

"I remember, too. I told you the stories." His hand swung down next to mine, brushing me every few swings. I took his hand; a natural reaction. He squeezed it gently, another reflex.

"This feels almost like old times." I knew he could feel the ring on my finger, but he took not visual notice. He looked straight ahead at the stretching sands, smiling.

"Yeah, it does. But it's different." He swung our hands, exaggerating every movement. My arm and his was flying backwards and then forwards, going past our faces. I laughed, and he joined me. Then he suddenly stuck his foot out, and I tripped over it. My face flew into the sand, and I gasped.

"You did not just trip me, Jacob Black." I looked up at him, where he was rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Oh but I did, Isabella." I jumped up and began to chase him. I couldn't keep up with him, yet he was running backwards. He made a beeline for the water before I could realize his plan. He stopped and I slammed into his chest, knocking him backwards a half step.

"Oh, you've done it now!" He lifted me by my waist and tossed me over his shoulder, my torso laying on his back.

"Put me down!" I screamed playfully, beating his shoulder blades.

"No way, Bells." He kicked off his sneakers and ran straight into the waves, despite the temperature. I braced myself for the ice, but instead got the warm sensation of bath water. Then I realized, my once sun was heating the water for me, making me comfortable, better. The waves crashed over us, and the water now reached his waist. My toes were in the water, my flip flops long gone on the shore.

"Jake," I gasped when a huge wave hit me. "Jake, put me down." I shivered, but not from the water. He ran back towards the shore, and I got down on the sand when he set my feet on the ground. My teeth chattered, and I pulled my sleeves down tighter.

"Want me to help?" He asked sweetly, and I nodded. He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me, making heat spread over me quickly.

"Thank you," I cried a bit louder than intended. He chuckled at my sudden change in volume, and I rested my head on his shoulder. My heart suddenly jumped at the feeling of him. Whoa.

"Bells," He started, leaning his temple down on my wet hair. "I love you." The words fell off his tongue, and I coughed, shocked by his words.

"What do you mean…you left me…and never called?" I whispered, barely able to make a reply. He laughed again, and I sighed. He suddenly tilted my chin up and looked me in the eyes. My gaze traveled him up and down swiftly, taking notice of the way his clothes clung to his muscles. His breathing quickened, as did mine. His face was only an inch from mine, and I could almost taste his breath.

"How can you just start loving me again?" I wanted to jam the words back into my mouth when they came out. Stupid question. For a third time, he laughed form deep inside his chest, and I wondered if it came from his heart.

"Bella, I never stopped." For some odd reason, I closed the distance. My lips pressed softly to his, and he gasped audibly. I tried to pull away, but his reaction changed and he put his hands gingerly on my hips, pulling me closer.

Then my hands were cupping his face, and he was begging to enter my mouth with his tongue. It danced outside my lips, and I allowed it to come inside. The kiss heated up, and my body felt like it was off the ground. _Oh, crap,_ I thought, _it is off the ground._ Jake had stood up with me, and my legs were dangling because of his tall body. I wrapped my legs around him, only wanting his to be closer to me. His mouth moved incredibly with mine, the passion in one kiss exploding in both of us, leaving us wanting more.

"Oh, Allie…" He moaned against my lips, and I stopped abruptly, jumping away from him. When my legs hit the sand, my knees bent from the force and gave out.

"_What_ did you just say?" I growled, my heart breaking, to my surprise.

"Bella, I am so sorry. Please forget that happened." He smacked his hands to his face and rubbed, as if trying to remove the shame from his face.

"No, Jacob, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for _ever_ trusting you!" I yelled at him and he jumped back a bit, his eyes still covered with his large hands. I stood, brushing the sand off of me. I stormed in the direction of the houses, even though they were visible yet.

"Bella, please don't leave! I'm sorry, I swear! Come back here right now!" I stopped.

"Jacob Ephraim Black, you cannot tell me to stop. You can't tell me what to do!" Tears were pouring down my face like a waterfall, and I wondered if Quil could read this in his mind later.

"If you would just listen to me, then it would be fine!" He screamed at me. I winced and turned on my heels in the damp sand. I listened for the sound of him coming after me, but there was only the gentleness of the waves, a contrast to my emotions.

With each stomp of my bare feet I would be a step closer to comfort, to people who actually cared about me. Jacob didn't care. He went off without an explanation, leaving me behind, broken hearted. And to add to that, he was with some girl named Allie. Or maybe that was a nickname. Like Bells. Quil wasn't allowed to call me that. Only Jacob was, and Charlie, when he was still here.

I missed my dad. So much. The tears quickened in pace and I wiped them away. I had to be stronger than this.

When I finally got to my small two story house, it was almost four o'clock. It had taken a while to walk from the beach to my home, and I had anticipated the long shower of relaxing. As I quickly flipped on the lights in every room I grazed through, making the house lucent with fluorescents. Everything was in order in my upstairs bathroom. The shampoo and the soap had their own spot, and even the washcloths were in order form my favorites to my least. Ignoring all of this order, I jammed my hand in the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a cloth and then turned the temperature as hot as it would go.

I closed the sliding door as the steaming water jutted out of the shower head, scorching my skin. I let it hit my back and then turned to let it wash my face. The water pressure was strong, and it felt like heaven on my aching muscles. I needed to call someone. Jacob had kissed me. No, wait. I had kissed Jacob. Oh, crap. This was bad. Very, very bad. I cheated on Quil. Oh, SHIT.

As fast as my legs would allow, I turned the shower off, threw a robe on, and sprinted downstairs to the phone. I would have made it in record time, but I slipped going down the stairs, rolling all the way down.

"Why do things always happen to me?" I screamed in the silence of the house, causing my voice to echo. I lay at the bottom of the stairs when I started crying. _Why am I such a baby?_ I thought while staring at the pale ceiling. Slowly sitting up, I grabbed onto the railing of the stairs to steady myself. My ankle gave out and shot a sharp pain through my right leg. Another injury, I presume. The phone began to ring, and I lifted my foot to hop to the kitchen.

"Hello?" I braced my palm against the wall and sat down in the chair at the table, raising my foot up on the one next to it.

"Hey beautiful," I laughed at the way Quil deepened his voice to sound funny. "I just wanted to check in since I stopped to get some food before heading out to patrol. How are you?"

"Well, I just fell down the stairs and my ankle hurts pretty badly, but I'm sure I just twisted it." I rested my hand on my thigh, waiting for his response.

"Maybe I should stop by, just to make sure." I heard the phone muffle a little.

"If you want to, you can." I twisted the hair elastic round my wrist, tightening it, then making it loose.

"I'll be there in say, five minutes?" He laughed and the engine revved a bit louder with acceleration. "I love you." He stated, and the silence following took over.

"Bella, are you there?" His voice raised an octave, and I stumbled over my words.

"Oh, yeah, uh, I love you too." Why was this so hard? Then I remembered, right as I heard the car pull into the drive.

Jacob Black.


	5. AN please read! :

OH MY GOSH! You guys…I am SO very sorry!

My life, has been…flipped upside down lately. My dad has been sick (cancer), and my family has been having large disputes. And school has really taken a toll on me. But I promise you now, these stories will be finished. I was working on them a couple months ago, and then my computer CRASHED. I had some good ideas, and I don't think I can duplicate what I lost in my computer crash. So, I lost my documents, pictures, everything. Please forgive me, but I must start over on the next chapters for these stories.

Love,

Me

P.S. I'm having sort of…erm…issues, perhaps, with ideas and events in these stories, so ANY, and I mean AAANNNYYY idea would be greatly appreciated. And you will be given credit, if that sways you ;)

Please don't give up on me, and stay with me here. I love you all!


	6. Chapter 5: Many things Broken

**HEY GUYS! I'm back! I wrote up this short chapter to get me started writing again! I've missed this and all of you guys ever so much! I hope you forgave me :) And I hope you're ready for the INTENSE drama that is going to take plae in this story! READ, REVIEW, AND REALLY ENJOY IT! I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLL! **

He had to leave. There was no way that Jacob could be here when Quil arrived. That was a disaster waiting to happen. I groaned. I groaned for everything that was happening. I groaned at myself for being such a dumb, naïve person for falling for Jacob's little apology. And I groaned for the pain that was ripping through my ankle. I glanced down and gasped. My gold tinted skin was now dyed a deep purple and misshapen. Oh, crap. Of course. But then I turned my thoughts. Where the heck _was_ Jacob? Had it not been him that just turned in the drive? I didn't have to wonder long, however. The door soon burst open and I was bombarded with questions. "Bella? Thank God we found you! Where the hell have you been?" Leah hugged me, oblivious to the fact that I was grimacing in pain the whole time.

"Waiting for that damn baby to be born already! I fell down the stairs after showering, though. Haven't been able to move." She gasped at the sight of my ankle.

"Good God, you klutz!" She stormed out and returned with my home phone. "Rach? Yeah, we have to make ANOTHER trip to the hospital. Bella's probably broken an ankle. Yeah, I know." She snickered and looked at me, all pathetic in the kitchen chair. They were always joking about my daily mishaps. She hung up the phone, helped me change my clothes in record time, and swiftly carried me to her jeep. I rested my ankle on the dash and she started to pull away from the house.

"Bella!" I heard Quil's worried voice from across the yard. "Where are you going?" "Hospital. Broken ankle." Leah answered for me. Without asking, Quil hopped in the back of the topless jeep and we were off. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I pressed my cheek against it. Maybe Jacob and I could keep that little beach encounter to ourselves. It was the least he could do for me at this point. When we arrived at the emergency room door, Quil made the quick decision to part with us.

"I need to go see Em and Sam for a second." I whined in protest, claiming to be scared of hospitals, but he rejected me. "I'll be right back, Bella. I love you." He left without giving me a chance to reply.

"Bella, I hate to be the one to tell you this," Leah helped me hobble through the automatic doors, "But he's lying to you."

"And what makes you think that?" I protested.

"You seriously think Quil would go talk to Sam and Emily while she is _in labor? _While she is pushing a baby out of her-" "ENOUGH!" I interrupted. "I hate talking about that kind of stuff! I feel sick enough already." But it wasn't from the pain of my ankle, or the thought of giving birth. It was from now knowing what the heck is going on, ever.

**News Flash: Those who review are on the good list this year :)**


	7. Chapter 6: Emotional Rollercoaster

**PLEASE READ:**

**Not gonna lie, I don't like this chapter. Like I said, writers block has taken over my life. It hides in my dreams. It lurks around every corner. eeeeep! *ahem* sorry. A little frustrated, I am.  
JUST A LITTLE NOTIFICATION- Flames are not taken lightly here. Yes, I want some constructive critisism, and YES I DONT LIKE THIS CHAPTER, IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE HATED BY YOU GUYS TOO, But I don't want it bashed to the bone. This makes me sad.  
I LOVE YOU ALL! READ ON! Oh, and I really feel like this story is read by maybe 3 people. Because thats how many reviews I got. *cries* ARE THERE OTHERS OUT THERE? *waves* please review! let me know if anyone cares about this story! :)**

"Hello, Welcome to La Push Community Hospital, how can I help you?" The ancient lady behind the desk smiled at us.

"Well, we have a broken ankle here. And we're pretty sure we'd like a little treatment!" Leah's sarcasm rang throughout the waiting room, turning heads. I tried to hold in my laughter, but couldn't help cracking a smile. The lady, offended, wrote a few things down and told us to take a seat. We chose a couch in the corner, far away from the other impatient injured people.

"Bella, did you and Quil get into a fight?" I shook my head.

"He called to check on me, and I told him about my fall down the stairs. He told me he would be there in 5 minutes. Then he told me he loved me."

"Did you say it back?"  
"Leah, I'm engaged to the man. Yes, I said it back!"  
"Did you hesitate?" She picked up a magazine nonchalantly, as if she had these conversations regularly.

"Maybe…" I thought back. I had. Could he be mad about that? I hope to God he wasn't.

"Oh, Bella. Sometimes I worry about you…you and your inexperience with what ticks guys off."

"Um, Leah," I turned my body to face her, "If I do recall, I'M the one that's engaged. Not you!"

"And If I recall, Bella," She pushed my hair out of my face, "YOU are the one with boy troubles, not me." She smiled and continued to read her magazine. I slumped in my seat and rested my head on the cold, hard wood of the couch frame. I wanted something warm, I wanted my fiancé. But I hoped, deep down in my heart, that it wasn't just someone similar to my fiancé that I wanted. For some reason, I hoped I didn't want Jacob Black.

By the time I was seen by the doctor, Emily was just ready to have the baby. The doctor was telling her to push, but she was struggling. She was in immense pain and wanted her girlfriends there. Once I heard this, I hobbled as fast as I humanly could, on crutches with a cast on my ankle, to her room. Leah was power walking beside me. Before we even entered the room, we heard Emily scream. It was agonizing to hear her usual calm voice transform into that of pain and strain. The only other people in there were the doctor, a nurse, Sam and Rachel.

"BELLA! LEAH!" She wailed when I reached her bedside. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" She grabbed Leah's and squeezed as she scolded us.

"Well, as you can see," Leah stayed very at ease, "Bella had a little accident." She motioned towards my crutches and Emily cracked a smile. Same laughed, listening in. He walked over and placed a comforting hand on Em's shoulder, just as Quil had done to me earlier. He bent down and kissed her forehead gently, taking advantage of the time when the contractions were at rest. But of course, that wasn't long. We were lucky to get any time in between the doctors orders and Emily's pain.  
But throughout the next hour, somehow we managed to add a new member to the pack. Little Sam Jr. was born a healthy baby boy. Sam directed me to go tell the pack in the waiting room the good news. The second I walked into the waiting room, Embry, Paul, Seth, Colin, Brady, and Jared all burst into a chorus of booming laughter. Quil, who had been looking out the window, came to my side.

"God, Bella," He placed his hands on my waist gently and kissed me lightly. His soft movements were an unusual change to his usual bold, loving ones. "What am I going to do with you?" He smiled, and I sighed in relief. He didn't seem to be angry or bothered anymore, which was a good sign. I didn't want him to be. Yet there was something in his expression that hinted something was on his mind.

"Marry me?" I suggested. He laughed again and touched my left hand.

"I was planning on it." He said quietly and turned to the still laughing pack behind him. "What's so funny, guys?"

"Bella!" They roared in unison, and began another fit of laughter. I couldn't help if I was the clumsiest person on the planet.

"Well if you guys were planning on focusing on the REAL reason we're here anytime soon, I was instructed to tell you that Emily had her baby!" With this, everyone ran through the doors I had just come out of. I laughed at the sight of a crowd of massive men racing down the hallway to greet the new parents.

Quil had stayed beside me. I sighed and leaned into him, letting him be my crutch for a moment. He turned and wrapped his arms around me. The feeling was so familiar. The warmth of his sculpted chest, the sound of his swift heart, the way we melted together. I wanted him to be my one and only so much.

"Bella, nothing is changed, right?" He pulled away and looked into my eyes. His face had fallen, and my heart twisted in my chest. He looked worried, but his eyes showed struggle.

"Nothing is changed, Quil. Nothing." And in the back of my mind, I legitimately hoped that this wasn't a bold faced lie.

JPOV

I watched her leave. Her toned and tanned legs led her far away from me, and I didn't follow her. My heart ached. I wanted Bella. I _needed _her. But I was stupid to think that two years after my disappearance, she would be ready to start where we left off. I should have expected her to move on. After all, I had tried to move on also. If you could even call it moving on. And I had just point blank admitted it to her on accident. But she didn't know the whole story.

Allie wasn't "Allie" to me. She was kind of like a makeshift Bella. She had long brunette hair that hung between her shoulder blades just like Bella's had. She had milky, porcelain skin that glowed after a day in the sun. I missed Bella so much, that I had to find a way to express my feelings for her, but not _to_ her. So I found Allie. And she never thought that she was simply a replacement. Allie and I were never official. She started off as a one night stand. Something to express bottled up passion that I could never give to Bella.

After that it became a habit. Allie and I were intimate, you could say. She thought I loved her. I told her so. I was a liar and a hypocrite. Yet I couldn't stop. In my mind, it was ok to use Allie and treat her like Bella. That was until it slipped, just like it had with the real Bella a little while ago.

"What do you mean, Jacob?" Allie had stopped moving and stared at me.

"I mean, I'm leaving. Going back home." She reached out for me, but I backed up.

"I thought we actually meant something to you! I thought you loved me!" I kept a flat expression and exhaled. She could be so cliché.

"Allie, we were never anything." She began to cry. Oh, God, she cried so damn much. Cried every time I acted like I didn't like her. But it was funny, because I didn't like her. Not at all. She was just a habit, an addiction that acted as a release for me.

"I hate you!" She screamed as she tore through her apartment. She was angry. Should I expect anything less? Then she stopped, like an epiphany hit her smack in the face. "Is there someone else?" She accused me. Suddenly, I was also furious. She actually had figured it out.

"Yeah, Allie. There is. There always has been! This whole time!" And with that, I left. I didn't even say goodbye to my newfound father figure. I still hated myself for that.

And now there was nothing I could do. Bella had moved on, for real. I was left with nothing. But I had to win her back. The wedding was probably months away, leaving me with a chance to fight for her. Show her who she really needed to be with. However, this plan also made me a wedding crasher, and half the pack would hate me. Hell, they already hate me. Hate me for leaving, hate me for coming back. But the sad thing is, I hate myself, too.

**Ok, so I guess the only part I really didn't like was Jacob's. I feel like a totally jacked up the Allie situation. It could have been better. I suck :P But I keep trying! **


	8. Chapter 8: Secrets

**HEYY! It's been a while, eh? This chapter may have a lot of grammatical/spelling errors, but that is because my spell check was going CRAZY on me. I know my chapters are never perfect in that area, because I am not a professional, blah blah blah. But this is a fairly long chapter, I think, so enjoy! Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long! Please review! I like to know if people even read this story! I love you lovelies! P.S. I DONT OWN THE CHARACTERS OR BOOKS, ALL BELONG TO THE LOVELY CREATOR OF TWILIGHT.  
P.s.s...WHO IS EXCITED FOR BREAKING DAWN? I AM I AM I AM! ^_^**

BPOV

Something was definitely wrong with Quil. For the next three days, he patrolled every night. Each night I sat awake, hoping to hear his wolf howl, or waiting to see if he came home early. But he never did. The first night was cold. It stormed violently, the thunder cracking loudly. Actually, it rained and stormed those entire three days. Quil knows I hate storms, yet he didn't even ask if I was ok. He didn't check on me. He _always_ checks on me.

When I woke up the third morning in a row alone, I cried. I cried _hard._ There was no shoulder to cry on. But, I desired one that I knew I shouldn't want. I wanted to talk to Jacob. From the small talk I had heard earlier, he was staying at his house with Billy. I sighed loudly to myself, debating whether to actually leave the house today. I glanced down at my engagement ring, then to the empty side of the bed beside me. The blankets were incredibly messed up, so I was probably tossing and turning during the four hours of sleep I got. My crutches were really hard to use on the stairs (much to Leah's amusement when she helped me up them!) so I was forced to scoot down on my butt, careful not to hit my cast on anything. When I hobbled into the kitchen, the phone rang loudly, making me jump.

"Hello?" I answered quietly.

"Bella! I've been trying to call you all day!" Leah's voice was frantic.

"Jeez, sorry! I was upstairs. I can't hear the phone well up there. I'm kind of out of it, honestly." I sat in the chair close to the wall and twirled the cord on the phone.

"Well I'm coming over to get you! We're all hanging out at the beach today. Aaaaaand there's a celebratory bonfire tonight for Sam and Emily. She says she feels up to it!" She paused, waiting for my excitement.

"Sounds fun, but I can't exactly swim with a cast on." She huffed at my buzz kill.

"You can hang on the sand with Rachel. Now get ready." She hung up before I had a chance to object. I went to the laundry room downstairs (thank God!) and got my bikini I got in Florida, a pair of jeans, some shorts, and a t-shirt. I changed into the bikini, with A LOT of struggle, and slipped on a sundress for my cover-up. For the fifth time in the last two days, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Quil's number. Much to my surprise, he answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Bella," He said calmly. I held my breath. "I've missed you." Silence.

"Yeah, we haven't really gotten time together in a few days." More silence…

"We will tonight, at the bonfire. And I want to make it up to you." He sounded like he was smiling that cute half-smile I loved so much. I laughed.

"I'm going to hold that to you!" He laughed, short and sweet.

"I'll meet you at the beach, ok? I love you, Bella." His voice cracked on my name, and he hung up before I could say anything back. Everyone was hanging up on me today!

I am so confused. Quil acts like he doesn't want to be around me, and then he acts totally normal. Before I could contemplate the situation any more, Leah burst in my front door. She ran to me and scooped me up in her arms before leaping back out the door and to her jeep. She threw my crutches in the back and put me in the passenger seat.

"Could you be in any more of a rush? Jeez!" She laughed and simply turned up the radio. Coincidentally, a song we both knew came on and Leah burst into song. Feeling the lighthearted moment, I joined in, and we sang off key the whole way to First Beach. When we arrived, she switched the jeep off and we sat for a minute, out of breath.

"Leah, you're sure in a good mood today." I grabbed my crutches and hobbled to the sand.

"I figured you needed a little cheering up." She smiled and helped me through the uneven sand. I stopped, her words sinking in. She noticed the change in my face.

"Why would I need cheering up, Leah?" Her eyes widened and she started to talk really fast.

"Oh, just because, um, you've seemed a little, um, lonely these last few days. Ya know?" She read my confusion and quickly changed the subject. "Are you excited to see the baby? I mean, I guess I am, but you know it's a little hard for me, with my past with Sam and all. But its ok, I'm really happy for them." I just agreed and we kept trekking until we reached the circle of beach chairs and grill that belonged to the pack. Rachel and Kim were seated on the chairs, while the rest of the pack was by the water's edge or playing in the waves. I searched for Quil, and found him on Paul's shoulders playing chicken. The rare sunlight glistened off of his wet, sculpted chest and abs. The muscles in his shoulders flexed as he battled Seth. He must have seen me, because he suddenly stopped fighting and tried to wave, but was thrown off of Paul due to his lack of concentration.

My mind shifted for a split second to Jacob, and I wondered where he was. I searched the small crowd on the beach again and found him sitting a little ways down the stretch of sand, the waves barely reaching his toes. I thought about asking about him, but decided against it. Before I could turn to face the water again, I was embraced by a warm set of arms. I smiled at the familiar smell of my fiancé. He lifted me off the ground, and I dropped my crutches to wrap my arms around his neck. I buried my face in his shoulder as he sighed.

"Missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you too," He carried me to a beach chair and sat me down before grabbing my crutches and joining me. We were sitting a little ways away from Rachel and Kim, but they seemed distracted. Quil took my hand and twisted the ring on my finger absentmindedly. I watched him, but suddenly got the feeling I was being watched. I glanced towards the waves and saw the _whole_ pack staring at us. When they noticed me looking back, they immediately looked away. It was seriously freaking me out.

"Quil, is there something going on?" He stopped twirling my ring and grasped my hand tightly. He turned and looked at the pack menacingly.

"No, Bella. There isn't anything wrong. He abruptly stood. "I'll be back later, ok? I need to talk to Sam." I groaned.

"What the hell, Quil? I thought we were going to hang out today!" Rachel and Kim noticed my change in volume and stood. Quil grabbed my arm and turned me the opposite direction to talk in private.

"Later, Bella. I told you, I'll be home tonight. And I'm making it up to you. Just, let me go right now. I _need_ to go." He pleaded with angry eyes, his voice low and raspy.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with you right now, but I don't care if you need to go. I need my fiancé. I didn't think we would have problems like this!" He was getting annoyed, and my eyes watered. But this was not the time to cry. I had to act strong and defensive.

"There are a lot of problems we _thought_ we wouldn't have." He growled at me. With that, he turned and grabbed his shirt before storming off into the trees. I gawked at what had just happened. I was in shock. Quil had NEVER gotten angry at me. It was not something I liked. I slowly eased myself back into my chair.

"Bella," Rachel came to sit beside me, "I'm sorry." She didn't say anything more. She didn't have to. There was something everyone else knew that I didn't. Why does everything always have to just…fall apart? My breathing hitched, my eyes filled to the brim with tears again, and this time, I let my walls fall down. I saw no need to try to keep them up anymore. So I sat on the beach and let Rachel rub my back until I became too tired to cry any more. Kim asked if I wanted to lay down, so I laid out a beach towel and fell asleep to everyone else having a good time.

JPOV

I thought long and hard the next few days. Maybe I shouldn't try to steal Bella back. And maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty about everything. After all, Bella left me without an explanation. How was I supposed to know she was going to tell Cullen to hit the road? And Quil. Should I really try to steal away the girl Quil wants to marry? I don't think so. He's been my best friend for years, and it wouldn't be fair.

I would see her at the bonfire tonight. Was I really ready to talk to her again? I don't even know how to classify us. Friends? No. More than friends? Most definitely not. Why in God's name was life so damn difficult?

The beach was hot, the sun was blazing, and the situation was awkward. I couldn't talk to Quil, Sam was busy with the baby, and the rest of the pack seemed unsure about me. I wasn't the enemy. The water splashed over my feet as I searched for Bella out of the corner of my eye. I shouldn't be, but I wanted to see her. It had been days. Though I had gone a long time without her, seeing her again made me greedy for more. I wished to see her smile when she saw me. That smile she couldn't help smiling when she greeted me. I wanted to take her smiling face in my hands and kiss her gently, feeling her delicate fingertips on my arms. I wanted to feel her next to me while we sat at a bonfire, I want to make her feel safe and comforted. But I can't.

That's when I saw her. Wobbling across the sand with Leah, her cast looking awkward and huge on her thin legs, she made her way over to the rest of the girls. I looked away before anyone could catch me looking at her. I wondered if she saw me. I moved a little farther into the water, the waves lapping against my thighs. The wind blew slightly, blowing my slightly outgrown hair into my eyes. I dipped my hands in the water and ran them through my hair, brushing it back to stay. I heard Quil and I whipped around. He was yelling. _At Bella._ I doubt she did anything; she's crippled for God's sake. Then he ran into the tree line, leaving her alone. If she cried, oh god if she cried I would have to go over there. And, God, help me, she did cry. I had to force myself to not walk over there, scoop her up in my arms and comfort her. I waited forever. When I finally gave in and glanced back, she was alone. And asleep. The others where down the beach swimming near the pier. I looked around before jogging over to her, careful not to kick sand on her. Her breathing was heavy, and I was afraid that if she woke up she would tell me to leave.

I sat next to her for what felt like hours, but was in reality only a little while. Her red, swollen eyes fluttered open and she shielded them from the sun. She sat up and looked me straight in the eyes.

"_Jacob."_ She whispered. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she held her arms out to me. I gave in and let her sink into me. Her back heaved with each sob, and I rubbed it gently with the tips of my fingers and shushed her. She eventually died down and fell asleep in my arms for the first time in forever, and I can't say I didn't like it.

BPOV

I didn't dream of Quil. I hate myself for it. But laying on the sand in the heat and covered in my own sweat and tears, I dreamt of Jacob Black. I dreamt of his hands, his face, his eyes, and his lips, just _him. _And to my surprise, when I opened my eyes, it was Jacob that I saw. Without a second thought, I reached out for him. He didn't reject me, or turn away; he just took me into his arms. It could be a comfort thing, or an act of sympathy, but I hoped deep down in my heart that Jacob Black still loved me, because I knew I still loved him, no matter how much I tried to convince myself I didn't.

But when I woke up the second time, I was not on the beach. I was at the bonfire, my head in Leah's lap. The fire danced in front of me, the sun setting in the distance cast an eerie glow on everything. I sat up, much to the surprise of Leah, who spilled her beer on herself in shock.

"God, Bella, why don't you just rise from the dead? Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!" She laughed, and handed me a beer myself. As usual, I rejected her, and glanced around. Then I realized I was freaking cold.

"Leah, can I go change?" she nodded. "Will you come with me?" I insisted, as if it wasn't already obvious. She realized what I meant and jumped up, then handed me my crutches. Quil was here. He looked at me with pain in his eyes. He regretted yelling at me. I didn't give him the slightest acknowledgment, so he took it upon himself.

"I'll help her, Leah." He stood up.

"I don't think…" Leah paused, waiting from my response. I looked at the bonfire, but accidentally looked past it. Jacob was looking straight at me. He smiled a half smile before taking a sip of his beer, and I knew he was referring of our time on the beach this afternoon. I turned to Quil, looked him in the eyes and kept my face emotionless.

"Did I _ask_ you?" I heard the crowd behind me shift, and I'm pretty sure someone spit out their drink. His mouth opened, then closed, then he sat down without a word. I kept on hobbling towards Sam and Emily's house, my bag of clothes in Leah's hand.

"Damn, Bella." Leah said when the door was closed to the house. "I didn't know you could be a bitch!"

"Leah, I wasn't being a bitch. I'm pissed off at Quil. He fucking acted like a bastard today. I'm not looking forward to going home with him. If he doesn't bail." I ripped off the sundress and grabbed the shirt from Leah. I pulled it over my head and nodded for her to help with my jeans. She left it rolled up over my cast. I took down my braid and let my hair fall into waves.

"I know, Bella. Everything is a little messed up right now." She held the door open for me while I exited, and I sighed.

"Leah, I know something's up, but no one has told me yet." She sighed as well, but bit her lip to keep from saying anything. I was right. We made our way back to the bonfire, where there was a bitter silence. It was really strange that no one was talking. Jacob was sitting with Sam and Emily, and there was an empty space next to Emily. She smiled when she saw me take a place next to her. She held the little baby in her arms tightly. She glanced from the baby, to me.

"Do you want to hold him?" She whispered. I nodded and took him from her. He was sleeping, so peaceful. I touched his tiny nose, and his big brown eyes opened. He gave me the biggest toothless smile before closing his eyes again. I smiled back, and then looked up to realize that _everyone_ was watching me.

"One day you'll have something like this, too, Bella." She told me as I handed Sam Jr. back.

"Maybe." I said sternly, while looking right at Quil. He looked away and played with the cap on his bottle. He stood and made his way over to me.

"Let's go home, Bella." His eyes pleaded with me. I looked to Leah for support. She nodded for me to go, then motioned that she would call me in the morning. I looked back at Quil and agreed. He reached out the help me stand and I took his hand. It was hotter than usual, showing his nervous side. I reached for my crutches, careful not to make eye contact with Jacob. No was not the time. I hobbled all the way to Quil's truck, with Quil trailing behind me. When I reached the cab, I threw the crutches in the back and hoisted myself up. But before I could get myself all the way in, my hand slipped, and I was going down. I waited to hit the ground but instead was caught by a pair of arms I knew too well. Quil lifted me up to the seat, and I thanked him quietly. He shut the door and I pushed myself as close to it as humanly possible. He got in and closed his own door, then sighed and rested his elbows on the steering wheel. His hands covered his face. Silently, tears began to roll down my cheeks. I love Quil, I really, really do. I would give anything for us to not fall apart. Through my silence I accidentally let a slight gasp for air slip. His turned to me quickly, and I looked away.

"Bella," his voice cracked, "please come here." Slowly moved closer to him, so close I could feel his warmth. He reached his arms towards me and I let him wrap them around me. My head lay on his chest, he held me tighter. One hand reached to turn on the truck, but he kept one arm around me the whole way home. We drove in silence, but I listened to his heart beat the entire time.

When we arrived home, he carried me inside, forgetting the crutches. He carried me all the way to our bedroom. He helped me change my clothes, letting my wear one of his huge shirts. He changed, too, and then laid me down in our bed beside him. He held me tight under the covers, and I let my hands touch his face. The slight scruff on his cheeks tells me he's been tired and too busy. He pulls away for a second, looking in my eyes. His look sad, mine probably look the same. Then he kisses me, for the first time in a while. His lips are sweet on mine, and I don't want him to pull away. He doesn't, but instead intensifies the kiss. His lips move with mine smoothly, but then it changes. His hands grip my face, and it becomes rough. We don't usually kiss like this. One hand leaves my face and moves to my hip. My hands move to his shirtless chest, and his hand grips the fabric on my waist. He pulls at it, bringing it above my thigh. He travels further down to my leg, where he rubs slightly before moving to my butt. He squeezes there, rough and forceful. I gasp a little in surprise, but he doesn't notice, his mouth moves to my neck, and I lay there clueless. I have no idea what's going on. His fingers tease the panty line on my butt, and he slowly goes underneath. This has never happened before. His hand is on my bare ass, but I don't stop him. His other hand wraps around to the small of my back, where he pushes me closer to him. The hand on my butt goes back to my leg, but this time, higher up on my inner thigh. His mouth moves back to mine, even more rough than before. He kisses me with more passion than he ever has. His hand moves closer and closer to the warmth between my legs, and I don't know what to do. No one has ever touched me there. We've not done things like this. Before I can say anything to him, he has gone underneath my underwear. But the sensation of Quil's hot hands touching me there is not like anything I've ever experienced. The motions he makes and the feelings he's giving me are incredible, and it feels amazing. My breathing hitches, and he notices, he rubs faster and harder while we roll to where instead of side by side, he is now above me. His hand on my back moves to my stomach under my shirt while his mouth moves back to my neck. His hand travels father up while his other hand increases speed. The sensation is building, and he knows it. But then he stops, and I gasp for breath. He looks at me for a split second, and our eyes meet. He keeps his eyes on mine while he moves down slightly, asking for his hand to enter me. Not knowing what to say, I grab his face and kiss him sweetly. He takes this as a yes and slowly lets his fingers fill me. I struggle to breathe, and he kisses me again. He moves slow, knowing this is not something to take as rough as everything else. He doesn't stay there long. This hand moves to my face, while the other slowly massages my breast. He pulls away from our kiss to look at me again. He smiles slightly.

"I love you, Bella. I am so sorry." He waits for me to reply, and I swallow hard, forgetting all of the problems we are having for a split second.

"I love you, too." I force a smile back and we both pause. "Are we going to…" I let my voice trail off, because he knows what I'm talking about.

"Only if you want." He answers my unfinished question. We had decided a long time ago to wait until after we were married, but maybe this would help us…

Instead of answering him, I just reach up to kiss him, and his hands go back to work, as well as the rest of him, until the late hours of the night, before we fall asleep in each other's arms.

When I wake up, Quil is still asleep. I look like a complete mess, but I smile. Quil and I made love last night, so I'm hoping today will be a better day. I hobbled down the stairs and to the kitchen, where I made Quil a glass of orange juice. I somehow climbed up the stairs back to our room, but I heard Quil on the phone.

"I tried, Sam, I really did." He sounded pained and frustrated. "Yes, I did. I know you told me not to, but it seemed like-" Sam interrupted him and Quil listened. "I know I shouldn't have. I thought it was the best way. I _know _she is going to hate me. I love her, but I JUST CAN'T BREAK IT!" He screamed into the phone. I heard him hit the wall. I took in his words, finally realizing what he meant. Oh, my God…

The glass of orange juice slipped from my hands outside our bedroom. It broke all over the floor, and whatever Quil was saying now stopped. He hung up the phone and ran to the hall. I stood there, looking at the spilled juice, he bent down to pick up the glass and I went into the bedroom. I grabbed a change of clothes, the phone, and walked past Quil into the bathroom. I locked the door and dialed Leah's number.

"Hello?" She sounded groggy, like I had wakened her up. The sound of her voice literally broke me down. I began to sob and cry, but hoped Quil couldn't hear me.

"Will you come pick me up, please?" I said between gasps for air.

"Oh, Bella, of course I will. Hold tight, ok? I'll be there soon." She hung up and I sunk down to the floor. Quil imprinted. He imprinted on someone. We can't be together.

"Bella?" Quil knocked on the door. "Are you alright? Can I come in?" I ignored him, and he knew I was not alright. I struggled with changing my clothes, but eventually got it. Quil continued to try to get in the bathroom, but I was not letting him in. For a minute he went away from the door, but then I heard the arguing.

"Quil, you're a little bastard!" It was Leah. Thank God, she was here to rescue me. I unlocked the door and saw her storming towards the bathroom. She saw me and embraced me. The tears continued to slide down my face. Quil tried to get my attention, but I couldn't talk to him. I just couldn't. He grabbed the phone and began yelling at who I was guessing was Sam, but Leah and I just went downstairs.

"Do you have everything you need for right now?" I nodded. She went to fridge to get me a drink, and I looked down at my hand. The ring still stood, shiny and representative of my relationship with Quil. The relationship that was nothing now. I slid it off gently, and placed it on the kitchen table. He would see it. I couldn't wear it. Leah returned to me with a beer.

"You need it. Trust me." I didn't reject it. I took the beer and drank a good amount right there. She handed me my crutches she must have gotten out of the truck and we retreated to her Jeep. Right as we were pulling out, Quil burst out of the front door. He yelled at us to stop, but Leah continued to drive.

"Where are we going?" I asked her as she drove down the main road.

"Sam and Emily's." She didn't tell me why. I didn't ask. I hoped Quil was not going here as well. We drove in silence until Leah spoke up again. "Jacob has been worried about you. We told him last night and he was freaking out. Worried about your well being."

"So this was the big secret…and I don't know why he would be worried." I played dumb with the Jacob situation.

"He still cares about you, dumbass." I didn't take Leah's comment to heart. She knows I know that. "And you're probably going to have to stay at Sam and Em's for a few days anyway."

"Why can't I stay with you?" I asked as we pulled into their drive. From the amount of cars I could tell that everyone was here.

"I'm going out of town for a few days. Pack stuff. Quil is going with me, help me God. I'll be tempted to fucking kill him. He better not speak to me out of line." I laughed for the first time all day, and she smiled. "Oh, and everyone is here for basically a Bella pity party to make you feel better or something. Something stupid that I told them not to do. But you know, don't listen to Bella's best friend or anything." Her smart-ass attitude followed us all the way into Sam and Emily's house, where everyone was feasting on pancakes and bacon. I knew I looked how I felt, but everyone tried to ignore that fact. They all hugged me as I walked into the living room, offering me food and places to sit. I took my place on an empty couch and refused the food. No one protested, but instead turned on the television to some game show they all like. I watched them all laugh and joke about it, but I took up half the couch and closed my eyes, listening to the voices. I heard everyone; I could recognize them all by their laughs. I heard Jacob, cutting up with Embry. I smiled, hoping no one was watching me. Thunder cracked and something outside blew up against the house. When had it started storming? The rain beat down hard against the _windows_, and then the front door burst open. I opened my eyes to see Quil, drenched in rain, come storming in the house. His eyes were set on me, but I looked away, my eyes filling up with tears again. Every guy in the house stood to stop Quil from coming over to me.

"I need to talk to Bella." His voice kept cracking on every word. Every head in the room turned to face me.

"I, erm, don't, uh," I couldn't say anything.

"I don't think she wants to talk." Jacob's protective voice came out from the crowd. With them all standing, I noticed he was the biggest, and the tallest. He was protecting me, still.

"What do you know, Black?" Quil was _enraged_ that Jacob had said something. Jacob laughed slightly and shrugged. Quil tried to make his way to Jacob, but Sam stopped him.

"What are you doing, Quil?" Sam's voice was more powerful than Quil's. I didn't hear anything after that. Everyone just started yelling. I'm pretty sure Emily was in the screaming as well. But one thing I did hear, in a room down the hall, was the sound of a baby needing motherly attention that no one else could hear. I slipped out unseen and went to the nursery. Sam Jr. was wailing in his crib, and I scooped him up in my arms. He saw my face and stopped wailing, knowing someone was here for him. I walked back into the kitchen, still unseen, and grabbed the fresh bottle off the counter. I began to feed Sam Jr., just like I used to feed my baby cousins. The yelling continued, and that made little Sam fidgety.

"HEY!" I screamed as loud as I could. Everyone silenced, and looked at me in shock. "Look what you did. You woke the damn baby. Could we all be rational, please?" I was crying, of course. Emily saw me from across the room and smiled incredibly large.

"Thank you." I smiled then went back to feeding the baby. They all just looked at each other strangely. Tears continued to roll, but I turned my back to everyone and continued to feed the baby. I cooed at him while he ate, and everyone just sat down. Except for Sam and Quil, who left when Sam proceeded to drag Quil into the rain to talk. Emily came over to me and thanked me. She hugged me and took Sam Jr. back into the nursery to care for him. I then realized there were no empty seats anywhere, except for next to Jacob. I wanted to sit there, but what would everyone think? Jacob noticed my hesitation and nodded that it was ok. I walked over there through everyone, who barely noticed due to the suspense of the show on T.V.

It was only then when I realized how tired I actually was. I hesitantly laid my head on Jacob's shoulder, which moved to suit my comfort. I curled up next to Jacob, who didn't protest, and laughed along with the rest of the pack. No one pointed out where I was, or what I was doing, but I guess that's what I really wanted.

**ZIIIIIING! WHAT DO YOU THINK? Oh, and have any of you read the book "Matched"? I just finished it today! reminded me of the Hunger Games, but if you havent checked it out...you won't regret it! REVIEW DARLINGS.**


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